Some might call it the 80% to 20% rule, but I prefer the 85% to 15% rule. No, this is not an algebra article. J What do all these numbers mean? These numbers represent the things that are important to you and non-negotiable, which you will accept and tolerate in your life. Take for example a relationship you are involved in. It can be platonic or intimate. If the relationship is 85% good and that 85% is what’s important to you, then the other 15% are things that you can ignore because those things aren’t that important to you so you can let them go.
There are many people who feel like they can handle when a relationship is 85% good and 15% bad. Unfortunately, they may give up the 15% that really matter to them just because 85% of the time things are great. This is a recipe for disaster because this person will give up what is important to them just to keep the peace or just to be in a relationship. Over time, the lack of that 15% that is important to them will gradually gnaw at their soul until only resentment towards their partner and resentment towards themselves remain.
If we stay in a relationship that sucks the life out of us, we will soon forget what a passionate life feels like, or we may never experience a passionate life. This refers to any type of relationship, especially the relationship we have with our family. If your family relationship is 85% toxic, don’t stay just because it’s 15% good. If your family doesn’t give you the support you need and they actually make you feel worse and refuse to respect your feelings, remove yourself from the relationship.
Set boundaries for your life and let your family know what you will not accept in your life. Also, let them know that if they continue to make your life miserable, you must respectfully walk away from them. This is not about forcing someone or bending them to your will. No, this is about respecting your own emotions and the health of your mental and spiritual state. If we can set boundaries with our family, we will miraculously see how we are now able to set boundaries in all of our other relationships with friends, romantic partners, and even co-workers at work.
Living our lives according to the 85-15% rule will help us become more grounded in who we are. We’re not just going to flap around in the wind and accept anything in our lives. We have a responsibility to ourselves to create an existence full of love, happiness and joy. This means that we must consciously take a stand on what is acceptable and what is not acceptable in our lives.
A few years ago I was sharing my point of view about who and what is acceptable in my life and the person turned around and told me I was “elitist”. I didn’t agree with individuals at the time, but as I grew personally, I realized that my outlook on life is ‘elitist’, but not in the traditional sense of the word. While I don’t think I’m superior to anyone, I do believe in living the highest quality life. And no, it has nothing to do with the amount of money.
Living our lives at the highest level means deeply caring for and loving ourselves. We have healed most of the toxic emotions in our psyche and are working to heal the leftovers so we can live our lives healthily. We use our lives to serve others, and we live in abundance and prosperity. We can live in a less than desirable existence and still have abundance and prosperity in our hearts. How is that?
When we are filled with love, joy and happiness, we will be content with ourselves. We can share this love, joy and happiness with others. We will also know that where we are physically does not indicate who we are spiritually. We will also know that when the time comes to make a change in our lives, we will make that change and not a minute before. When it is time to make a change, we will do so powerfully and grounded in who we are.
I’ve found overtime that the 85-15% rule is starting to equal 100%. Confused? Well don’t be. When we realize that 85% of our relationships are absolutely amazing, which means it helps us grow and become a better person, teaches us to love, accept and accept ourselves, then our life and ours becomes 100% relationship. Perfect.
After all, honestly, our relationships should help us better ourselves and see ourselves in a different and better light. When we achieve all of that in a relationship, life becomes PERFECT! So do you live your life by the 85-15% rule or by the 100% rule?
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