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“Oh man! I really messed everything up. I have to find a way to get her back!” Brian sounded desperate. His thoughts are all too normal for men after a breakup.
Every situation and every relationship is unique. Relationships are as diverse as the people who have them. However, if you want to win your girlfriend back, the same rules apply in almost every situation.
This article describes steps you can take right now to get your ex girlfriend back.
Your first step should always be to make space
When you first realize you want your ex back, you may be prone to acts of desperation. You will feel the need to do something quickly. This usually leads to begging, pleading, apologizing, and even buying things like flowers or gifts. The thoughts going through your mind are:
“If I don’t get her back quickly, she will meet someone else.”
“She will forget me, move on and never take me back.”
“If I can just talk to her and tell her how much I love and miss her, I’m all forgiven.”
When you get into this mood, you tend to panic. You start trying to get back into the relationship and you end up pushing your ex girlfriend further away. If you find that the more you try to fix the relationship, she seems more and more distant, then it’s likely that you’re pushing too hard.
Remember, time and space are good things when it comes to getting your ex back. Go all the way back. Don’t call. Do not write. Don’t email her or go to her house or apartment. If you did something wrong, apologize once and then leave your ex-girlfriend alone. Let her think and get her emotions under control. This is exactly the stage of breakup where most men ruin things forever. Don’t be one of them.
Allowing your ex girlfriend to miss you is one of the most powerful and effective ways to get her back. Why? Because now her thoughts are about losing you forever.
“Is he with someone else?”
“Has he already forgotten me?”
“Is it all worth losing him for good?”
“I’m upset, but I miss him and I still love him very much.”
If you’ve been pushing too hard, take a step back and watch the dynamic of your relationship shift. Be ready for what you need to do next.
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