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“Can we still be friends?”
Sounds cute right? However, the truth is that you will soon be schooled by one of the oldest lines in the history of the breakup. Her ex is effectively saying, “I like you, but not enough to continue dating you.” At least not now.
When your ex offers to be friends with you, she dangles a carrot. If she’s the one who ended things, she knows you still love her. Instead of letting you go, she drags you after her for her own selfish reasons. Being friends with you is the perfect way to slowly break up so she doesn’t have to feel any pain. Your ex can see you, talk to you, email you, text you — maybe even hang out with you. She gets all the social and emotional benefits of being around you but without the downsides that come with full commitment.
On the other hand, you can pretend you are happy with such an arrangement. Right now you are afraid to tell her anything else for fear of losing her. So you like to sit by, be “there” for her, maybe even watch your ex start dating other guys. Every time you watch her kiss a new boyfriend your stomach turns…but there’s not much you can do. Why? Because you’ve snagged a front row seat in the dreaded Friend Zone.
To understand something. If your ex offers friendship after a breakup, she will not yet about your relationship. You can use this knowledge to quickly withdraw her before she moves on with someone else.
How do you get your ex girlfriend back? Through Not to play the nice little friendship role she created for you. Instead, decline your ex-girlfriend’s offer of friendship when she makes it… or if you’ve already accepted it, you can throw it away immediately. Tell her something like:
“Look, I can’t be friends with you. I love you too much. If you and I can’t date, then we can’t be friends. I’m sorry, but it has to be like this.”
Hug her one last time and then slowly walk away. disappear for a while. Do not contact your ex-girlfriend, including phone calls, emails, or anything similar. Don’t even update your Facebook page—you want to keep a complete, quiet secret from your ex…at least for a while. Get her to handle the breakup on her own without holding her hand.
This is where your ex has to make a choice – either they date you or they lose you completely. You have told her that you will not settle for half a relationship and she will actually respect you for it. As she ponders whether or not she needs you in her life, she will also worry about what you are doing. are you dating someone Are you going on without her? Thinking this way will speed up your decision making, which is why it’s so important not to know anything about where you are right now.
If your ex loves you at all, she will miss you quickly. Once you have that, getting your ex back becomes easy. There are ways to reconnect with your girlfriend that lead back to romance. But never settle for friendship…not when you’re looking for something completely different.
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