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So your relationship is going great. She calls you all the time just to say she loves you. She texts you throughout the day just to let you know that she’s thinking of you with one of those pretty cheesy “somebody cares” messages that have obviously been forwarded thousands of times around the world. But what is that? You suddenly haven’t heard from her in the last two days? Are you thinking, “My girlfriend just disappeared?”
First let me tell you that you are definitely not alone in your thoughts. You can always search the internet and find countless people asking the same questions on popular relationship forums and answer sites like Yahoo Answers. Whenever something happens in a relationship that seems totally out of the norm, like your girlfriend disappearing from your day-to-day life, people wonder what’s going on. But has she really disappeared? Or could you overtake yourself?
The first thing to keep in mind is that just because your girlfriend hasn’t contacted you in a day or two (or even longer) doesn’t necessarily mean you should panic, even if things get completely out of hand in the ordinary. It can’t be anything. Or it could be that she’s just busy with a commitment of her own. Maybe something happened, like the death of a loved one, and she just doesn’t feel like talking to anyone right now. The fact that your girlfriend seems to have disappeared at the moment can have any number of completely harmless (for your relationship) reasons.
If she’s the one who usually calls or texts first, then that alone could be the reason why you feel like something is off when you suddenly don’t hear from her like you expected. That you have to be the one who bothers to call seems unnatural to you. Why not break the pattern and contact her for a change? You don’t always have to “keep cool” and wait for her to make the first move, you know.
Pick up the phone and call. If she doesn’t answer your call or return your text right away, don’t start right away assuming something is wrong. In fact, the fact that she didn’t respond immediately might only reinforce the idea that she’s busy or something extraordinary is going on in her life that she needs to deal with. It doesn’t have to mean that she avoids or ignores you.
When leaving a voicemail or texting, be careful not to overdo it. In other words, you shouldn’t dive straight into the “where have you been” or “what’s up” messages. Even if their apparent disappearance has something to do with you or your relationship, sending messages like this is certainly not going to help you anyway. However, what such a message does is convey insecurity and despair to your girlfriend, both of which are commonly perceived as unattractive traits. She might even feel like you’re accusing her of doing something wrong by not responding immediately when you snap your fingers.
In your first voicemail or text, you should say exactly what you would normally say if you didn’t feel like something was wrong. For example, if you often greet them with some form of “hello” followed by their favorite animal name, keep it simple. Then give her enough time to respond. And yes, a lot of time is more than five minutes or even half an hour.
After attempting to contact you in a manner typical of your own behavior and giving her sufficient time to get back to you, did she respond? If not, you might be wondering, “Is she avoiding me?” If so, I advise you to be cautious about further contacting your girlfriend, especially to confront her about her absence. The best thing to do is be patient and wait for her to call. Give it at least a day (or three).
However, if you feel like you need to contact them to ask what’s going on, word your message lightly. Ask her if she’s okay, as opposed to a blunt message like “Why are you ignoring me?” Otherwise, you could turn a relatively simple situation into a not-so-easy-to-fix complication, like B. the breakup scenario that you may have already mistakenly assumed to be happening.
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