Which of these two positions are you currently in:
A) Your girlfriend left you and you had no contact with her.
B) She left you, but all post-breakup contacts were initiated by she.
Both situations may seem hopeless. As if your ex is over you and she’s already moved on. In truth, however, there is always a way back into SOMEONE’S heart… as long as you know exactly where to look.
If you’re going down the path that leads back into your ex’s arms, you need to tread very carefully. Because in most cases? You really only get one shot.
Knowing which steps to take first is an essential part of preparing for any future phase of reconciliation. And it’s not just about acting fast, it’s about acting right.
The Actual Reasons Your Ex Didn’t Talk To You
Women are emotional beings. When you went out with her, your friend felt some very strong emotional connections with you.
These were built up over time. They started at the very beginning, during your relationship’s honeymoon, when everything was absolutely amazing. You kept going during courtship, through all the things you did and the places you went. The more you shared with her, the closer you became. And the stronger these connections between you became.
Just because she broke up with you? Those connections are still there. It’s not like they can go away overnight, and your girlfriend isn’t an emotional wizard who can turn those feelings off like a light switch.
No, to move on, your ex did the only thing she could: her buried those feelings. She quickly buried them. She also tried to bury them deep, but probably didn’t do that well.
And that’s why, my friend, you’re not in touch with your ex right now. Her ex-girlfriend is fear of contact. Because I see you or talk to you? There’s a good chance these feelings will resolve on their own and float right back to the surface.
Your girlfriend wants the breakup to “stick”
Every separation has the potential for reconciliation. All it takes is a few persistent doubts, and your ex can change their mind. For now, however, she is convinced that this is not what she wants. No matter how her heart feels, her brain has tricked her into thinking this is “the best thing for her right now.”
To get back at her, you’ll have to convince both her heart and her brain. This is where most guys make a mistake. They believe this by appealing to their heart; By bringing up the past and reminding their exes how great things “used to be,” they think they’re changing their minds.
In reality, they preach in the one place they don’t need: the heart. To get them to change their minds, you must appeal to their MIND. To turn things around you need to start dating you again seems like the logical choice.
And the words “to her” are important. If you want a new and lasting relationship, you can’t beg or plead back into it. Pity is bullshit. It never works Your girlfriend already knows that you want her back. But to make things really work? She must think it was HER idea to get back together.
This is where counter-rejection techniques come into play. The idea here is to completely reverse the way your ex looks at you, to the point where not only does she want you back, but she’s actually worried that you’ll TAKE her back.
Cut off contact to get her back
A big part of the counter-denial process is the NO CONTACT RULE. Many people have heard this term before, but few understand how it really works.
In short, ignoring the person you love feels counterproductive. You think if you want your girlfriend back you should keep lines of communication as open as possible. Any communication would be good communication; SMS, email, Facebook, Instagram… whatever it takes to keep in touch.
But the honest truth? The more your ex hears from you, the less they NEED to hear from you. In other words, the more you contact the girl who broke up with you (even innocent)? The farther you actually push them away.
Make your ex miss you
Do you ever miss someone? I mean, do you really, really miss her to the point where your stomach feels weird and there’s an ache in the pit of your heart?
why did you miss her There is actually only one reason:
It’s because they were gone.
When someone is gone completely, that’s when you’ll miss them the most. I speak no texts, no phone calls, no contact at all. When someone you love – or even once loved – disappears from the face of the planet, you suddenly think of them again. And the more distant they become (or the more they ignore you)? All the more you are forced to miss them.
This is the basis of non-contact; Making your ex wonder where you went. Believe me, she looks at you after the breakup to see how you are doing. She might be talking to friends, checking mutual friends’ Facebook pages, or even texting you a text or two to say “what’s up.” But all this testing is not innocent. It’s for a purpose.
See, your ex-girlfriend WANTS to see you sad. She WANTS to see you unhappy and upset. The harder you take the breakup? The better she feels. the more you chase them The bigger you inflated her ego.
The reverse also applies, of course. And that is the principle of not socializing to get your ex interested in you again.
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