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It happens all the time: the arguing and arguing leads to your girlfriend breaking up with you in anger. She’s telling you that she’d be better off alone, or that the two of you need some time apart, or that whatever you have just isn’t working. It doesn’t matter how your relationship ended; what matters is what you do to put it back together. If you want your ex back, sometimes it’s best to do less rather than more.
When a girl ends your relationship, she does so for one of two reasons. Either she’s finally done dating you and really wants to see other people…or she’s so fed up with one or more aspects of your current relationship that she can’t continue. If your ex broke up with you because of that kind of “we just don’t get along” thing, you might think it’s best to promise to change for her. Maybe send her some flowers or write her some cards. Listen to the radio, choose the songs that touch on your relationship… show her the romance you missed so her heart melts and she flies back into her arms.
In reality, these are the worst things you can do to mend a breakup. Ironically, they’re also the most common avenues men take when trying to get back together with an ex-girlfriend.
Sometimes you have to call your girlfriend’s bluff. If she’s ranting and ranting about something, it’s often good to let her come out. Does she want her space? Give it to her. Even give her 10x more space than she ever asked for. Until she realizes she’s 100% alone, she’ll see things a little differently. And if she doesn’t hear from you for a few days – no emails, no texts, no contact with your ex-girlfriend at all? She will have some thoughts.
Playing games with your relationship is never the solution, but sometimes it’s best to give your ex time to think things through. Neither of you can see the true nature of your relationship if you are constantly arguing and fighting. So if she breaks up with you, the worst thing you can do is continue the fight… by fighting the breakup. You won’t convince her to come back to you while fighting for her to see things your way. Instead, calmly agree with her decision to end things. Wish her luck and then walk away.
This type of reaction isn’t what your girlfriend expects, and it’s compelling her to do so. She has to put all her cards on the table because suddenly you’re not playing anymore. By taking yourself out of the equation, you give her time to take a long, hard solo look at what you two had together. And more importantly? You give your ex girlfriend a chance to miss you. If she is lonely and needs you, she will reconsider her decision to break up. That won’t happen if you’re constantly begging or pleading for your relationship.
Calling your girlfriend’s bluff is one of the best ways to get an ex back. It is important to maintain your dignity and above all your respect. After seeing things with her own eyes—without you trying to interfere—any decision she makes about getting back together will come from her own head. This will be crucial in building a future together.
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