Do you feel your stomach clench uncomfortably when you step out of the house and see your nemesis next door? To calm oneself down. You don’t have to get angry. There is still hope for you and your so-called enemy.
Peace is precious. You will never breathe easily when you have someone staring at you with daggers, or vice versa. If you can, try to mend your broken relationship with him or her. You’ll feel a million times better if you do this, no matter whose fault it is. Here are a few suggestions on how to approach reconciliation with your “enemy” next door.
1. Communicate directly with your neighbors.
It’s better to handle things this way than talking behind the person’s back, which would make things even more messy. Go to your neighbor’s house and talk to him calmly. Be firm, but also be considerate of his feelings. If you don’t feel safe because harmful threats have been exchanged, invite a friend over and talk to your neighbor in a safe, public place.
2. If you can’t communicate face-to-face, try another way.
You don’t have to face your neighbor head-on on the first try. You could opt for voicemail or a written letter. Call your neighbor and talk to them about the problem. For this you need your private number. If you don’t do this, you will need to write a letter discussing your concern. These options are also good if you’re too busy and your schedule doesn’t match your neighbor’s.
3. An apology might be required.
Assess the situation objectively. If your neighbor totally refuses to talk to you, consider the possibility that you really could have done something wrong. In this case, a sincere apology might soften him. If, after careful analysis, you can’t fault yourself, then of course be the bigger person and take the first step.
4. To listen carefully.
There’s no point in communicating if you don’t want to listen to your neighbor’s point of view. You may hear your neighbor’s side, but that doesn’t mean you’re listening. Borrow your ears and hopefully your neighbor will do the same for you.
Talk to the person concerned about the situation. Set out your suggestions and ask him for his ideas on how to solve the problem. Try to put yourself in his shoes and get a feel for what he’s thinking. Meet halfway. Although not all your needs will be met, the outcome will surely be much better than your previous situation.
6. Get a solid commitment to work with you.
Make sure your neighbor is okay with the compromise you both found. Remember to thank him for his cooperation. Keep your side of the bargain and continue to live in peace.
7. Strengthen the good relationships.
After reaching a truce, it is good to keep lines of communication open. Try to make friends with your neighbor. Invite him to dinner or have him as a guest at one of your parties. For all you know, you may have found a new best friend.
It is important to know that not everything works on the first try. You might hit a few bumps along the way of repairing your bad relationships with your neighbor. Don’t let these bumps distract you. A harmonious relationship is worth every effort.
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