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What is a person’s love language?
Everyone’s love language is simply how love is best communicated to him or her.
For many people, they need to see it. They have to be shown by what a person does.
For some people, simply saying “I love you” is enough. You need to hear it.
For others, touch or physical affection is required to convey love. You literally have to feel it.
The difficulty is that it is human nature to convey our own love language to someone else.
Do you and your partner need a translation?
This is great as long as our partner has the same love language as us. However, when it isn’t, we can find ourselves telling a person who needs to feel it that we love them, and then wondering why they aren’t entirely convinced.
Think about it yourself – do you mainly need to hear, see or feel it?
One way to discover your partner’s love language is to simply ask this question:
“For you to feel totally loved by me, do you have to hear it, see it or feel it?”
Once you get the answer, you have learned your partner’s love language.
Let’s create a fictional couple, Bob and Mary, to see how powerful your partner’s love language can be.
I recently met with Bob and Mary and sent them home with a task to practice love languages with each other.
They did this job well.
One of the sticking points had to do with Bob misunderstanding how Mary would love it when he met one of her emotional needs. She had spent most of the week saying the same thing to him over and over without him being able to understand it.
Knowing that Bob’s love language is through touch (feeling), I asked Mary to say the same words to him, only this time she simply put her hand on his arm as she said it.
Mary tried this and the difference was amazing:
Bob sat up straight and said:
“Oh, you said that. Now I understand it.
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