One of the keys to a great relationship is emotional transparency. These emotions, which are not usually expressed, can be the deeper ones, such as fear, sadness, and longing.
Intimacy is about revealing yourself to your partner. For me, I see exactly what intimacy is about.
You have to learn not to blame your partner for your own emotional reactions. It is also important to take personal responsibility for your own feelings. If you’re living with an abusive man, you can always walk away instead of blaming him or yourself for your situation.
One of the best ways to communicate without blame is to say, “When you did that, I was sad inside. In general, men need to learn to communicate more about fear, sadness, and longing, while women need to talk about anger.
Moments of emotional transparency can change a relationship for the better. Most of us need some encouragement to be more open. Because we don’t want our partner to react. We depend on our partner for our positive self-esteem. We take it easy and don’t express what we really feel.
Hiding big secrets from our lover takes a lot of energy. The art of communicating our feelings to our partner releases the energy previously tied up in efforts to hide those feelings.
Why is it so hard to say I feel hurt or sad? Most of us have not been taught the importance of emotional transparency. Many of us tend to dismiss our feelings and avoid more negative ones like anger.
However, if you resist feeling the negative feelings, you train yourself not to fully feel the feelings like joy and bliss.
When you fully feel the negative emotions, they pass in 5-10 seconds. When you refuse to feel these relationships, they are stored in your body at some level.
I’m not suggesting that you express your anger towards your partner in a physical way. When you get angry, it’s best to say “I’m angry” and “I need some space.” Leave the room and walk, dance, or hit the bed to safely express anger. When you are no longer triggered, go back and communicate with your partner.
The best question to ask is, “Have I talked to someone about something important that I haven’t talked to my partner about?”
It takes courage to commit to being emotionally transparent in your relationship. Being able to calm down when your partner is reacting is a real mature adult skill. I like to think of the saying don’t take things personally.
Try to remember when you are reacting emotionally to a situation that is beyond your control. When you see your reaction, you can watch it and notice that it goes away in about a minute. Breathing deeply and moving your body also helps ward off emotions.
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