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Tony followed Susan heavily even when she was pretty serious about another guy, and he kept pushing until Susan was convinced.
He mostly ignored that she was already involved and, whether she understood it or not, he devised strategies to win her over.
Susan left her other relationship and went with Tony.
Susan understands the fact that he cares about her, he informs her about it all the time, but Susan is afraid to make decisions on her own unless she hears from him first as he becomes desperate.
Tony is a control freak!
When he was challenged with evidence of Tonys’ by worried good friendsFraud and other infidelity type relationships, Susan still couldn’t end the relationship as Tony told her it was all lies.
A Course in Miracles It goes on to say: “The ego tries to ‘solve’ its problems, not at the source, but where they did not arise.”
Tony said it wasn’t true and that he was loyal to her and she was misinformed by her family and good friends.
The unhealthy relationship is spoiled by the requirement to deal with one or the other.
If worrying about that person’s mood keeps them from a relationship or closeness with friends and family, it’s certainly an unhealthy situation.
In a relationship where one of the partners speaks to them physically, psychologically, or directly in harsh ways to demand cooperation and obedience is certainly not healthy.
When someone treats you horribly or you have an argument and your partner doesn’t listen to you, that relationship is immediately unhealthy.
Fighting is a constant in healthy relationships.
Typically, what makes a relationship healthy is the need and act of compromise when differences arise.
I believe that an unhealthy relationship is a dangerous thing because it doesn’t have to be gritty, dirty, and full of physical or emotional beatings to hurt people trapped in them.
Tony and Susan’s example is just one, there are actually many others and for those who have never actually had the misfortune to find themselves in relationship troubles it’s really hard to understand why anyone would stick with it.
Relationship struggles can be resolved
Earlier I spoke about freely available information on the Internet about how to get to the root of the relationship struggles where healing can begin.
This is a real example; it’s a condition that only grew worse until the majority of Susan’s friends never saw her again.
Her family hardly ever saw her without Tony when Tony decided he needed to be in control of the relationship.
Her friends were horrified to discover that Tony had “broke up” with Susan for several weeks, but he never let her move on because he kept saying that he actually loved her.
Tony used to make Susan feel awful when she wanted to make her own decisions or plans or do anything that didn’t involve him.
Tony and Susan had an extremely unhealthy relationship and it was many, oh my god, many months before she even confessed her excitement to anyone, let alone told exactly what was going on.
Unhealthy relationships arise with our parents, grandparents, friends, people we see on the street that we don’t even know, the unhealthy relationship happens in many places, all the time.
Each of these relationships can help us along, improve us and make us much better individuals and just make us happy if we can learn something to improve our own behavior and attitudes.
Healing is everything and it is so important to recognize that as human beings we are healing all the time.
Grief, fear and anger are not and should not be a routine part of a relationship and if they are then healing is required.
Yes, individuals do get unhappy and upset by the normal course of things, especially in a dog-eat-dog world, if we let it.
Let’s remember that the relationship is not really healthy if it is continuous and reaches a certain level of “abuse”.
The unhealthy relationships can make us feel uncomfortable, unhappy, and scared, and we need to learn how to heal a broken relationship when even a glimmer of hope remains.
(Please note that I also suggest searching the internet for other helpful content, such as dismay in a romantic relationship and causes of investigated infidelity.)
To relationship healing and a happy life!
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