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You are in a committed relationship. Everything is going well. And then your husband suddenly pulls out of the relationship. Then he comes back. Then he withdraws again. Makes you wonder what’s going on! Ladies, your husband experiences the “rubber band effect” of a relationship. Unfortunately, for some men, as crazy as it may be, witnessing is normal.
Why rubber band back and forth in and out of a perfectly good relationship? This can have many reasons…
They might fear losing touch with who they are. Men aren’t known for making the transition from “I” to “we” the way women can. It’s not because men are self-centered, it’s because women have a much more natural bonding ability than men. This allows women to make the transition into a relationship much smoother than men.
You may not be ready to commit. Women can sometimes see more potential in a relationship earlier than men. Men are interested in the “here and now” while women can focus more on what may happen later. Men can do this on purpose… or unintentionally. Unintentionally means they do this automatically without having to think about it, usually due to the way they’re wired. But if men do it on purpose, it could be because they’re not ready to be exclusive yet. As good as a relationship can be, some men just can’t shake the feeling that there might be someone better out there: someone they haven’t met yet.
You are afraid of getting hurt. Women aren’t the only ones who get hurt in relationships. Some men go blind when they think everything’s going perfectly… and then they’re abandoned. When that happened to a guy, he ramped up his defenses. Their current relationship might be going wonderfully, but he might still be wary as this is how he felt the last time he was blown out of the water.
He might be unsure. Some men fall in love with a woman and then when things get serious, the man wonders if he’s really good enough to keep the woman. It could be low self esteem. It could be the women who intimidate him. It could be that he’s just scared of losing her. Whatever the reason, let it loosen up a bit.
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