Relationships can be difficult, but long-distance relationships bring new meaning to the idea of what is difficult in a relationship. The emotional, psychological, spiritual, and physical needs of the relationship must be met in alternative ways. Long distance relationships can be successful when cultivated on the art of communication and trust between partners. Prioritizing and talking to your partner about your goals and letting others know how you feel about them can help strengthen your relationship.
So, what if you start to notice a breakdown in your relationship or you feel like something is missing? There are things you can do, even remotely, to reassure your partner that you’re in the relationship for the long haul.
Keep your Skype or phone appointments. Quitting your partner could mean to them that it’s an afterthought or just an alternative when nothing better is going on. Hold your scheduled skype/phone calls like a date. After all, you’re dating your partner, right? Make sure you tell your friends or family about your plans to spend the evening with your partner and that you are not available at that time. If you have to cancel because of an emergency, let your partner know so they don’t feel upset.
Communicate about anything and everything. Be honest about how you feel, share what you are passionate about and what activities you are involved in right now. Talk to your partner via video chat, instant messenger, email. Write your lover an old-fashioned letter as a surprise or romantic gesture. Send your partner small gifts in the mail that you think they would appreciate. It’s the little things that let her know you think about her on a day-to-day basis when you’re apart.
Visit each other and never cancel unless it is an emergency. Refusing to commit to an agreed visit or canceling your partner for an alternative holiday could result in irreversible damage. By sticking with your visits, you show your partner your desire to be with them every day in the future. If you feel like the relationship isn’t working anymore or you are afraid to visit, discuss this issue with your partner instead of turning them down and lying about the reason. Resolving these issues can help you reevaluate and strengthen your relationship.
Share the visit costs and discuss finances with your partner. If you live on opposite ends of your country or even the world, finances need to be discussed over visits and preparations for your future. Is your fiancé from a country where he doesn’t make as much money as you? What are they trying to pay for in the form of visits? What do you expect from each relationship in terms of finances in the future? Discussing the financial aspect of your relationship helps lay a foundation for future expectations, agreements, and commitments you expect from your partner.
Discuss the direction of your relationship and your common goals. This helps each partner get a sense of what they should be working towards in order to make your relationship a success. This is particularly important in long-distance intercultural relationships. What are you both looking for in life? what are your expectations The natural conclusion should be that eventually you will start living together and even get married. Who is ready to move? Are you both willing to relocate to a mutually acceptable location? Finding common ground between cultural differences is a key to success in intercultural relationships as it will prevent many future clashes.
Relationships are emotional, spiritual, physical, and financial investments. Long distance relationships in general can take a greater toll on these aspects than it does on someone you see every day. Be honest with your partner and let them know how important they are to you and let them know if something is bothering you. When your partner responds positively with equal care and love, you cultivate positive traits for your long-distance and eventual near love.
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