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You’ve heard the same advice over and over since the breakup. You should ignore your ex boyfriend if you want to get him back. At first glance, it doesn’t make any sense at all. How on earth could ignoring a man make him decide he wants you back? The opposite seems much more likely, doesn’t it? Inside you feel like now would be the perfect time to pick up the phone, call your ex-boyfriend and suggest that you both try to work things out. But everyone is yelling at you not to do that. You’re confused, you feel desperate, and you worry that you might make a mistake that will cost you the man you love. Before you do anything, you need a short and concise lesson in male psychology. There’s a very good reason why you should pay attention to those who tell you to forget your ex-boyfriend’s phone number, address, and place of work.
At the moment you are not in control of your failed relationship
After a breakup, the person chasing after their ex has no control over the future of the relationship. As women, we often wish we could live our lives within the pages of a romance novel. We imagine that moment when our ex-boyfriend picks up the phone and says he can’t live another day without us. The problem is that in reality, if you keep chasing him down, that probably won’t happen. Your actions really speak louder than your words in this scenario, and your actions scream a message that loudly proclaims, “I’m desperate and I don’t care who knows.”
He is in full control of what happens next. If he chooses to ignore you, he instinctively knows that you will step up your efforts and pursue him even more. Essentially, you’re telling him that the more he ignores you, the harder you’ll try. Your life revolves around him and that feeds his ego. Most men in this position are reluctant to give their ex-girlfriend time because they want to see how far she will push herself to win him back.
You need to change the dynamic of the relationship so that you are in control of the future. The best way to do this is to change your own behavior. You’ll actually be surprised at how quickly he decides he wants you when he suddenly thinks you don’t want him anymore.
There’s more to ignoring your ex-boyfriend than not answering his texts
A relationship-altering mistake many women make before escaping contact with their ex-boyfriend is that they communicate their intentions to him in a way that he realizes it’s little more than a game. If you tell your ex-boyfriend that you’re not speaking to him anymore, and you do it while you’re overly emotional, he’ll use it as a tactic to get him back. His competitive spirit will run high and he’ll make his own way to ignore you. Before you know it, weeks or months will have passed and you will both be too stubborn to bond with the other.
You’re much better off just getting off the face of the earth. The best advice to follow is to decide for a moment (now is good) that you won’t talk to your ex-boyfriend for at least a month or try to try again. Don’t let anyone know you’re doing this as mutual friends love to gossip and once again your ex boyfriend will find that you are using non contact as a tool to remind him how much he needs you.
Over the next month, try your best to shift your focus to something positive and enriching. It’s very tempting to sit and reminisce about when the two of you were together, but it won’t do anything productive for you. This should be a month to rediscover who you are as a woman and get in touch with what you want out of life.
Redefine your life goals by distancing yourself from your ex
You’re in for a few welcome surprises as you begin the journey of ignoring your ex-boyfriend. First and foremost, you will be shocked at how he reacts. Typically, a man wants a woman who no longer wants him. Once your ex-boyfriend realizes that you have ended your never-ending search for his love and devotion, he will set out to win your heart back. It’s amazing how this works. Men are notorious for wanting things in life that are out of their reach. When one of those things becomes an ex-girlfriend, a man will turn his charm into high gear to win her back. Basically, if you take away from him the knowledge that you want him, he will start asking who you want. Once that happens, he will run back to you in full force and try to get you to explain to him what has changed.
The other, more welcome benefit of ignoring your ex-boyfriend is that you can finally decide in an emotionally clear way if it’s really something you want or need to get back together. Things look and feel very different a month after the breakup. Your emotions are calmed, your future is less defined and you are open to a whole range of possibilities.
Giving yourself a chance to catch your ex-boyfriend’s breath is one of the best gifts you can ever get. You will finally be able to decide what is best for you and if reuniting with him is really the best way to make all your romantic dreams come true.
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